comes February

January ended and as i close the January page on my organizer to check out what is on on February, i had cold sweats.

among the rest of the months in this semester, February will be the most challenging time.

just in case my organizer went missing (bringing it here and there, the edges are ripping off and the cast worn out) i better make a back-up here =)

so.. February is going to start with:

7th - Basic Helping individual assignment due

- Industrial Visit meeting

12th - Hubungan Etnik midterm exam

14th - Basic Helping midterm exam

15th - Cognitive Ergonomics Quiz

17th - Artificial Neural Network individual assignment due

19th - softskill (8am - 12pm)

21st - Hubungan Etnik pair work assignment due

22nd - Cognitive Ergonomics group assignment due

with selling of roses in between now and then...

its not that bad, i hope.. haha

because i will still have my weekends to rest... and a Chinese New Year to celebrate and a bunch of friends to go through this with me! wheee~

oh.. there is a picture i took a while ago seems too cute i need to upload it here.. little Vanilla holding up a special Christmas card sent from far, far away land haha

i dreamt

been having a lot of weird dreams lately that continues revolving around the same story every night... might be i am too tired to sleep.

few nights ago i kept dreaming i was in the hospital taking care of one person whom i believe was my boyfriend. i cant recall how he looked like but it seems that i have been with him quite long already. he was in a comma.

some other time his parents would come and visit bringing me clothes to change and meals. then his friends would also pay a visit and bring me out for walks while one of them took charge of taking care of him.

a month or so in my dream, his parents brought along a little girl and broke the news about him having a little girl with one of his ex girlfriend. she ran away, leaving the little girl behind. i was supposed to take care of that little girl, like my own daughter.

she got the Eurasian looks, with blondish wavy hair she like to twist around with her tiny fingers. rather a quiet type, i don't find it hard to have her around the ward with me, taking care of her father. she like to play with me, and had a crush on one of the male nurse in the ward. her favorite thing to do in the ward was blowing warm air at the window so that it gets misty and draw a house with her initials "L".

on the outside, i am poised and calm to take care of the man in comma who betrayed me and got me into trouble with having to take care of his daughter. inside of me i was on the verge of breaking down. while the girl was sleeping on the plastic chair i often whispered to him with my teeth clenched, "get up and fixed what you have messed up, you moron"

my parents would call and asked where am i. for the past months i did not tell them i was staying at the hospital. i lied saying that i was busy working and had to stay somewhere near the office to get the new projects done. mum asked to come home soon, i put off the phone, and went out to reach into my car, and cried.

even though it is only a dream, i heard the worst sound in my 20 years of life: my voice of crying. my heart aches as i hear myself crying out loud.

then i woke up. crying in the car was not my first time in real life. but now it looks like i have brought that crying incident into my dream. i crawled in the dark to get my rosary, and started praying. i prayed and prayed, until i fell asleep again.

how was the dream, and how did it ended, i have no idea. i woke up most of the mornings with dried throat and bad dark circles under my eyes. it was a vivid dream that i had over and over again.

i tried not to dissect too much about that dream, or to worry unnecessary to spoil my day. i would like to believe it is only a dream, a weird dream

horse in rabbit year for me

Chinese New Year is around the corner and the thing i loved the most is the time spent with my auntie watching television shows of prediction on individuals in the rabbit year.

we would listen to the advices and tease each other, and it always end with a good feeling of starting a new year.

i was born in the year of the horse. horses are characterized as peaceful, beautiful and strong fighters. horses have a special bond with humans. ah.. it always started with sweet words hehe

so in this rabbit year, horse are predicted to have everything going smoothly in terms of wealth, careeer and relationship (wheee~)

only that i need to be patient and good attitude at work. it could be that there will be people who will give me hard times..

'there will be enjoyable places too'. hmm.. enjoyable? might be true because i am going to travel a lot this year. starting off with industrial visit i am also going to have holiday in Singapore. then my parents will be having their free passage air tickets from government and i am entitled for one too =). no plans made yet.. can't wait!

then with 4 months holiday after my finals i hope i can visit my ex-rumie in her hometown. i missed her lots and would like to pay a visit someday. pack my bag and hop on a 5hours (i think) bus to her hometown for an adventure.

"men and women born in this year can get married and have more babies". wootss! marry me and we will have kids popping out like daisies... lol

'this year is also a peach year, single men and women have great opportunity to meet their other partner'. hahahahaha my prince will arrive, alas? =P

'do not casually lend money to anyone'. i just borrowed my money to my friends... remember to give back to me yea? =)

'minor health problems'.. super-like this!

there might be many-many more to read on what will happen to me this year. though i don't fully believe the predictions, it's nice to know and get some ideas on what to pursue this year. there are no such thing as bad days or bad month because everything under heaven and God, is good and blessed =)

what does the Tai Sui said about yours for this rabbit year then?

2nd half of 2nd year

feeling rather lost and in doubt lately. this time around, time would be seriously precious to me. having 21 credit hours this semester to complete in 4 months, everything would be quite rushing. everyday is to the max, with classes from 8am to as late as 7pm. student's life is Fun isn't it? XD

i only can give my best. seeing my schedule, i don't think i can even play any facebook games for now. some things i must let go.

i don't know whether i can pull this one off but somehow i like to believe that whatever comes my way, God had a special plan for me. rather than ranting and complaining, i want to take each step with a smile, full of faith, and with gratitude =)

so next week will be a full swing for all subjects. i can feel the craziness with all the assignments that needed to be completed in few weeks time already. game on!

well, work hard, play hard right? i want to have time for enjoyment so i guess, time management is really important.

off to my first assignment for this semester... catch up soon =)