depressed

i have something heavy in my chest

it hurts most of the time

and certain songs can trigger the pain

i fear being lonely

because tears love misery

and there is nothing i can do on the inside

i sealed what i feel with a smile on my face

other than dearest daddy God to talk to

i let the walls become my ears

i let the floors catch my tears

and i let darkness hug me tight

how should i go from here?

how can i not cry every time i think about it?

how can i have a nice sleep from this night on?

how

how to make this heart feeling lighter and this chest better?

update for the week

frizzy, busy, dizzy...

to sum up my current status, i am disorganized, eat-only-when-hungry, sleep deprivation, overdosed-coffee, assignment-flooded, lack attention, disappointed... enough said.

but not all things are bad. i have my share of happiness, and friends to share it with.. and i am glad to have that opportunity to share sweet moments with them =) God bless them

this week is ethnic week in my faculty. course mates were to dressed in traditional costumes and open up a booth on exhibition day. the days were colourful with all sorts of ethnics found in Sarawak.

was dozing off when i saw Vanilla was staring at me. alright alright.... i am going back to work =,=

hard to find time for everything, and for that i am truly sorry. will make it up someday, especially to mum, dad and my friends who have been trying hard all these time to keep the friendship alive. i might have been ignorant... so, thank you for the understanding, thank you for the laughs, thank you for the time.

after all of these are DONE, let's have a celebration =)

off to do what i ought to do!~

i am officially drenched with tiredness.. i am having my 3rd cup of coffee and still, i am sleepy..

and i really am not looking forward to weekends now.. because all the weekends i had for the past months was sleep deprivation and neck wrangling events of assignment due dates.

plus with people talk bitterly, people act bitterly, things that goes bitter and nothing seems to work for me makes me feel that i am cursed.

how i wish things will be better tomorrow.

how i wish i am like the cupcake, receiving sweetness abundantly, just for a change.

home

i love to fly, i love my freedom

i would give anything just for a try

of the outside world, far and wide.

i promised myself that:

i won't regret every disappointments

i won't regret every injuries

i won't cry if i fall hard.

because i know i can always go back to you

because i know you will always be there

you will be waiting with an empty seat next to you

because you love me.

and with your love i went on further

with your love you sent me higher

your love was too much you set me free

free to go and explore, and to try love the other.

i flew far, as far as i can

fell, stumbled, injured and bruised

until i realize i am back to the same spot

the spot where you are, and where you will always be.

i flew just around the corner with my broken wings

too scared to disturb you, too scared to come back

i watched you waiting, you were so peaceful

and if you can see me now,

i hope you can come and take me home.

take me home.

museums day!

visited 3 museums today with my bestie: ethnology museum, art museum and Sarawak textile museum!! =)

not many photos taken because we were not allowed to take pictures in many places, but we sure had an eye-full of fun and enjoyment.

even though i lived in Sarawak for the past 20 years, i have not been experiencing a down to earth and wonderful adventure with my bestie.

normally i would pass all of these museums and streets sitting in my car at fast paced but this time, i actually walked the streets under the hot sun with any other tourists that passed by. Saturday well spent!

long house models. this is especially for my Ethnic Relationship assignment on Kenyah longhouse.

weaving ladies hehe

waving goodbye to textile museum, and into China Town street

Bidayuh wedding traditional clothes =)

auntie, look at the camera~

pretty lady showing us how weaving is done, traditionally

granny nyonya sewing my pink kebaya =P

murals on the walls everywhere in the museums

manslaughter days... thank goodness no more

i have not finish exploring my home here in Sarawak. there are still many more streets to walk, foods to eat, people to see, and things to discover.

come.. pack your bags with drinks and buns, and put on your best pair of shoe..

we are going for another long and far exploration on different cultures and surroundings =)

wheee!

i realize now, that the moment you wanted to stay out from trouble is the time you were sucked in like a vacuum.

people who are in silence know many things they wish they don't know

and people who are loud and spread secrets know so little on things they wish they know.

people who sacrificed themselves behind stage are considered thrash

and people who show themselves upfront are to be respected by everyone.

i watched her back, when she didn't watch mine. i take the fall, when i don't intend to put her on the same boat as me.

now there is one tiny little thing i fear of.. is how much i can put an act of kindness on my face. because if i lose my sense of control, i will eat someone up, literally.

so be careful. they say that angels with white fluffy wings come with inner devils too. i saw your devil, don't let me show mine. >=)

友谊 可以大过天。 死党 不是说说而已。