"i miss you"

i simply love to hear those words.

who doesn't? =)

and that is how i feel right now.

and while you were fast asleep and probably dreaming away,

i really wanted to say,

"i have missed you, i miss you, and i will miss you always"

missing Christmas

what i can say is i might not have a great Christmas this year. Last year's Christmas dad was readmitted to the hospital. though there are not much of a celebration, but i saw magic of Christmas when dad was healing day by day =)

now... Christmas week, will be my study week.

what is the fun in that?

at this very moment i really wish i can celebrate Christmas. seeing happy faces and good food. going to church and had a jolly caroling time. jingling everywhere and visiting loved ones.

i want to have Christmas now. (i wish!!)

haha

hopefully tonight i dream of Christmas

too much

i must have been hoping too much, i ended up feeling disappointed. i guess i never learn my mistake.

dreaming too much of things that are too good to be true, is a recipe for disaster..

that was what happened when i expect my day to turn out to be in some order, and the events that should happen just starts playing in my head over and over again, rehearse themselves as if it is a protocol.

well, as usual things go the other way, all of it.

i don't really know how to express my feelings right now, but i guess everyone had experienced it all the time. X)

now i need a good distraction to forget this 'broken dream' of mine.

whatever happens after this, i don't really care anymore.

swell~ =)

a taste of being an educator

mum had always been encouraging me to become a teacher some day.

she don't force me though, and i am not saying i don't want to be a teacher or anything.. i will just go with the flow, aye? =)

and lately i am exposed to being a part time educator. at times i will help mum post out her RPH, which is a timetable for each subject to be taught to students every day and the reflections after that.

and then now at this wee hours i am still up putting marks on the new system they made on website. which is so very awful. God bless all the teachers who have to go through this terrible system.

one thing that annoys me is the log in part. for at least 1 hour i was trapped in step 1.



another thing annoys me again, constantly in need to refresh the page, and in the end all the marks i have keyed in, has gone!

ah.. i admit i swear and curse a lot in my heart while doing this. X) gosh.. i need to calm down~

there are days when mum and dad come home from school that they start to talk about those naughty students at school who irritate them. some stories are just too... unbearable for me to imagine.

man, kids these days are nasty. do their parents even know it? do the parents have any freaking idea what their kids are doing at school?

some how i find it interesting to become a teacher... not at all easy but, but at all hard too.

so i imagined myself a teacher at some school right now.

wake up in the morning, send my husband and kids off to work and school, then prepare myself to work. at school as i walk pass the classes on the hall way, i can see paper crumbs flying around and students noises. i go into the class, teach as usual, give some homework, make myself busy in the office, take seat-ins, then in the afternoon i clock off to end my working hours. at the end of month, i got my pay.

i then will have plenty of time with my family for the rest of the day. as much as possible i don't want to neglect my darlings.. i believe in 'we don't live to work, we work to live'. enjoy the days we had with loved ones, seize the moment as much as we can.

sounded easy, hm?

or maybe being a lecturer is a better option. dealing with adult, which is the 'i heck care' attitude is soooo much easier. lol.

i think i have been ranting enough. it's nearly 2am and i just finished with one class. i thought i hear thunder. i feel cold breeze. i expect rain later. i hope to have a wonderful sleep.

good night, love

dear Love

it has been a while. but then again it seems like everyday that i have been with you.

the silence we had between me and you, made a tremendous confusion to me.

my mind tells me we have known each other very well, and there is no need to say much.

but my heart says we might be growing apart, each moment that comes by.

there are days that i am convinced i can get through this some how.



when i see cuddling couples,

happily married people,

people who settled down right,

men who had loved for infinite years,

girls who had found their prince charming,

they give it all away, give it all up...


and so for those moment, i was wondering:

what am i fighting for, exactly?


in a battle that i have already lost in the first place.

you are never going to come back, i know this.

and all these while i am trying hard to put up a poker face.

i must never show my affection to you.

i must never seek you when i needed you the most.

i must never say the words out.

i must never let you see how things are broken.

i must let you see the brighter side of me.


life has got to be more than this.

if i cannot come home to you,

then i probably should set foot outside and move.

move on until i feel tired, and only tired alone.

that i can eventually close my eyes to sleep.

Kuching Festival

food paradise! ah.. the beauty of living in a country where food are plenty =)

Kuching Festival is around the corner again. last year i went with my course mates and families.

Kuching Festival is not all selling food, but for the whole month they also organise other activities like football match, dragon boat and other competition. but i am always interested in the Food Fair only!

this year, i went with my parents and soon it will be me and my old friends from primary school.

nothing much changed compared to last year's Festival but i sure did try out some new things. my favorite would be the cempedak ice-cream! they said it was shipped from Sabah.. not bad at all.



mum enjoyed the big Bak Chang and dad enjoyed his Duck Rice. we tried the German Sausages and Brutwurst too.



lovely sunset


and an Angry Bird stall.. too many people queieng so i might have to try it some other day.


there's just too many food to try out, so little time and so little space in my tummy to eat them all =D

omnomnomnomnom..