perhaps

next year's Christmas would be better, perhaps..

mum's advice

had a wonderful 'mum and daughter' time tonight where me and mum sitting together for a tea after cleaning up the dishes for dinner.

we talked about living as a married person. i was whining and skeptical of becoming a happily married woman someday when all i heard and experienced all these while was only heartbreaking and disappointing.

for every couple i met, there must be only 1 side who gives more, while the other one tend to not to appreciate it..

for every couple i met, there must be one who always hurt badly to maintain the relationship, while the other one just could not care less.

for some couples where either one who is so damn kind, only to get betrayed at the end of the day.

some have a partner who treated them as only one of the options, and not exceptions.

some were so good together, but that is because both of them have affairs somewhere else unknown to each other.

some real true love just cannot be together because of statuses or distances or religious or whatever heck you can think of that makes differences between two people.

and for those who give more and was always hurt, they can get tired, and eventually marriage or any relationship turns sour.

and some of the couple i met who totally head over heels for each other, suddenly broke up i don't know and cannot explain why they did.

and so mum was listening to me and all my points of 'no points being in love and get married whatsoever'. she might think i read too much love stories and hear too much bad things. to me they are real, which makes me sad. and what is worst, i somehow was going through some of it.

was. haha

and then mum said,

"well, opposite attracts and if they can handle each other well, the relationship can go on for a long time. the kind must learn to be firm, the hurt one should talk over and solve together. don't be such a rush to end things. people makes mistakes, and if mistakes can be pointed out and become fair to the both of them, then for sure marriage would be a bliss. i agree what you said either one sacrifice more but from time to time, small reward even like a smile from the one they love can cure every wounds and heal every hardship they did"

hahahaha! i agree with what mum said.. no wonder she make such a good counselor at school.

and what i need now is someone as a prove to what she said is right lol =P

Santa

i mustered up all courage to get my Santa to see what i wanted for this year's Christmas.

i see a smile, i hear nothing come up from Santa's mouth, and the pupils in his eyes getting smaller by a time, as if thinking of something faaaaaaaaaaaaar ahead.

then i asked again, "can i? =) "

then the sentences from Santa, "we will see. by the end of this month, you still holiday, don't really need it yet, right?"

"yup."

and so i was left to sleep tonight with a 50/50 chance of getting my ultimate present for this year's Christmas...

i asked for it because i love it, i dreamed about it, i long for it, i want it....

well if i am a good girl, i think i will get it. if not also never mind, i will still be happy because nothing changes =)

what did i asked for? not telling you!! hehe try and guess.

no, not the capo i asked before... something more than that haha

ah... just wait and see

daddy's paradise

after few days of recuperating myself from injury at home, i finally got the green light to go farming with mum and dad. =)

mum waked me up at 5.30am telling me, "come go walk-walk" with a big smile on her face.

# em...? soooooooooo early walk-walk? where? lala land?.....

farm. oh no. can i just sleep-in today in the room? last night slept at... but i promised to go. go.. or not go..? *sigh*

go go go go go... wake up liaoooo >.< #

what made it so hard to wake up is because of the morning rain~ nice to cuddle in a comforter hahaha~

and so in daddy's paradise.... these are the things you can see, pick, pluck, eat, collect, admire, plant... you name it! =D



i learned about durian's sisters today. these 2 look similar? they are actually 2 different fruits with different taste =) later on will explain hehe



banana


custard apple





exploding papaya


capsicum


cempedak


langsat (season's almost over)


traditional animal traps


pineapple


bountiful oranges


this is called custard apple. tastes sweet, very sweet =)


this... is durian belanda. sour, very sour should just make juice with it haha


we grow palm oil trees at the moment


now i know why mum and dad would stay in the farm so long they refuse to come home early. there are too many to see, too big to explore, and so much love is needed for this farm. i had a blast, and there are still so much trees yet to see. daddy said durian trees might bear fruit sometime soon, which i am looking forward to. dragon fruit trees and lime trees and rambutan trees and lemon trees and nangcen trees and jambu trees and longan trees and and and and LOL, are yet to see!

gosh... i ran out of energy and am depleted..

what a wonderful day, thank you mum, thank you dad...praise the Lord =)

call

dear .....,

when was it that you last called... was it exactly today, last year?

if you'd asked how far we have moved on since that day, i will not be able to give you the exact answer. because i know, whatever comes out from my mouth would crush you badly.

the memories are always just a distant away. never too near, yet not too far to be forgotten. but honestly today, just after you called that the memories had intensified they drowned me.

regret never comes first. what we missed out in life are simple life lessons to treasure everything we still own. and from the tone of your voice, i still sense regret in you.

you asked, "how to forget?" don't forget. remember every detail and every moment, until it means nothing to you. and for all those tears you dropped for me, i apologize every drop of it. for every drop was your weakness, and i was the one who let it flow.

we both are happier now, i hope. you know what to treasure, i know my life goal.

thank you for the call. thank you for the well wishes.

to the future. =)

love,
silly

positive people

'life is already hard as it is, there's no need for another to make it harder. surround yourself with positive people' =)

because of certain experience i encountered, i realised that i prefer being with positive people or friends.

positive people don't cry aloud to the world. they have few good friends they can secretly talk over and feel better.

positive people show the best to the world with megawatt smiles and good aura. positive people are addictive, and easy to love.

positive people are attractive, they are not loud in person, they just feel good of who they are. they don't need to talk much, people know he or she had it all.

positive people leave the others wondering what are they happy about. and if people wonder, they are drawn nearer together.

positive people can REALLY make you feel good. the ugly can become beautiful, the bad can become good, the worst can become better... what more do you ask?

positive people.. are generally good hearted. they love whoever loves them. they have principles in life, religion is their priority in leading a humble and better life.

i have met with positive people. and i treasure each one of them. they are the ones who changed me my perspective in life. whenever other people say to me:'you are such a good person'... in my heart, i thank deeply of these positive people =). they are Godsent to me to become a better person.

thank you, thank you, thank you =)