thoughts

some might not understand me when i am quiet or in total silence.. those are the moments when i am in my deep thoughts. my thoughts can continue until i have sleepless nights thinking about it.. which made me seriously think that i have bipolar disorders..

thoughts which are too deep, i cannot even speak =)

it drives me crazy when i cannot answer my own questions, like,

"is this the path of life that i wanted? the life that i choose to live in..?"

no answer.


"do i roughly know my future, or what to expect from it?"

...no answer.


and one of the question my other friends would pose to me, which left me wondered along myself:

"after you graduate, what do you want to do?"

same... no answer.

then i try to see the world around me. all who have walked passed me, they might have some purpose of their life, which they know about it. some don't, and are lost, like me..

looking back 3 years ago, i started living in a broken dream. my life was made clear by my family, all plans were constructed perfectly, and i should end up to be a certain someone, someone important.

i drifted off from their plans. i walked away from my dream. i tried something bold, until i started to question whether i have made the right choice.

the choice of having a future without any plans.

some days i believe i can get through and be successful,

other days like today, i feel... hopeless.

i try to sought comfort from the websites, they did not help much to counterattack these doubts i have in me.

i try to sought comfort from my Creator, the prayers helped calm my heart, and place these wobbly feet back on track.

i should not worry much, don't i?

someday i will be able to answer these stupid thoughts, and have a good night rest.
my prayers will be answered, and i will live according to His will.

suddenly i remembered what daddy told me, "live according to God's will, and you will be blessed a thousand folds"

how true.. how reassuring =)