allow me

for this post, allow me to pour out what seems to be kept in my heart for quite some time.

i never wanted to show people me being in a foul mood or sad or simply, hurt.

but i guess nobody can be happy all the time and i might feel better if i can just say it out and let it pass by me.

memories can wear us down. i agree on that. no matter how far we go in this life, how long it has happened and what have we done to get rid of the little pieces of memories we wanted to erase so badly in our head, we can never feel alright.

maybe it was regret that i am having. regret of giving too little, maybe too much.
maybe it was greediness. greedy to want it all for me.
maybe it was loneliness i come to think it this way.

i didn't know exactly when did he walked out of my life. when did he drifted apart and where did it go wrong. it just happened. when i was too young to understand. all i did was fell down on the floor and cried. can never get up after that. flunk my tests and got my room mate troubled by my mood swings.

that was years ago. that was when i was away from home. when i first feel different. when i think i matured.

well, one thing for sure, i never regretted everything that had happened. period. i learned a few, maybe a lot from there.

i learn that life is never beautiful. fairy tales, no need to mention la.. it is never real. when letting go, leave quietly, and don't hate. God is always there. it is okay to cry and not feel okay, it shows that you still care over yourself, your own feeling. it is okay to be happy again.

haha.. must straighten up now. life is great! :)